1-31-11 6:37 pm Verbs of Being

Good things result from positive thinking. This I believe. Replacing negative words with positive statements, and avoiding exception words like "but" support my positivity efforts. And...I continue identifying new methods for supporting my positive thinking. Here's a new one: replacing verbs-of-being with more articulate verbs.

Need reminding of which words comprise the list of Verbs of Being in the English language? I still command a memorized list from sixth grade:

be, is, am, are,
was, were, being, been,
should, would, could,
have, has, had,
may, can,
might, must,
shall, will,
do, did, does

That particular arrangement of the words helps me say the entire list. To me it shows their relationship to one another. My best friend in sixth grade refused to let us sleep during one slumber party until everyone memorized it. Thank you Pam. You changed my life.

All of life feels like a learning opportunity to me. So, I feel excited to try a verbal diet free of those words. Compare these statements: "I'm tired", versus "I feel tired". "I have a headache", versus "My head hurts". "I was going to..." versus "I planned to...". "That is a good idea", versus "That idea involves success on several levels." Clarity comes to mind when I compare them. Something about the words "feel", "planned", "involves", and "hurts" lend voice and deeper meaning to the statements.

I notice that removing verbs of being from my speech clarifies my meaning. The thought occurs that when I use verbs of being, the message feels more declarative, and less flexible. Statements also seem more vague, minuse the investment of thought required to come up with another, more descriptive verb. Ultimately, I think more before I speak on this verbs-of-being-free regimen. I appreciate that benefit, greatly!

Three words most commonly able to supplant those vague, declarative verbs of being: feel, seem, and need. And on closer examination, those words indicate a...state of being. "Feel", "seem", and "need" have more voice and meaning than any verb of being.

So, it looks like this journey toward positivity brings to into focus clarity for me. I think I feel specificity and ownership creeping into my thinking and improving it. Today I met with a co-worker who routinely demonstrates clear thinking. While I know she values my ideas it often seems to me that her thought processes and communication show more clarity than my own. In our meeting today that dynamic seemed changed for the better. I felt less inferior, more up to the task of sharing my thoughts and working with her. And for the first time this year I feel confident that we both walked away from the table with the same ideas about all the content, meaning, and implications of our schemes.

Thinking and speaking more clearly. It sounds good to me!