We have ultimate control over one thing: choice. I'm thinking of choices we make in response to things outside of our control. In my teacher world it's all about FTE: Full Time Emplyee status.
In fact, I imagin school hallways across the country are abuzz with similar discussions: Who's getting cut? Who's moving schools? Who's changing grades? Who's getting to keep their position? Principals face difficult choices.
I was walking through a room just today, and a staff member shot me a volley in this game of worry: "Are you getting cut?" It nearly knocked me off my feet. The suddenness of the question, so forward, so out there, and yet, so very close to my heart and soul. I chose to presume positive intent; this person cares for me, I know. And yet I forget my response. Stammering of some kind or other, I'm sure.
Industries all across our economy, and the world over, currently search for survival strategies during this difficult time. It's easy to throw up one's hands in futile dismay. After all, which one of us, by ourselves, could begin to think we have control over Wall Street?
It's tempting to let conditions seemingly outside of our control dictate our feelings. Right now is a fine time to be depressed. Of course! It's the economy! I'm in a bad mood - it's the economy! I'm losing my job and feel worthless - it's the economy!
And there's the ironic rub. We let something completely outside our control, completely take over the single most imporant area of our lives that we can control: Choice. I believe that when we choose with positive intetion, how we respond in any given situation, we hold the power to produce happiness in our lives.
Seemingly obvious choices can be the most toxic and ironic. High holidays, times we think we should all feel happy, can bring deep sadness for the lonely, or for individuals who've suffered a great loss at that time of year. Job loss? It can actually be a good thing. I want to keep my job, yes, however if I lose some employment, I will explore other options. Who knows what might happen? It could be that I discover another school, or another work environment entirely. Maybe I'll branch off into some other field. My Dad was laid off over 15 years ago, became a private contractor, and now every year netts more income than any year he was "employed".
My Dad's story may be unusual, however I've heard that contractors can do well in a down-turned economy because they end up being cheeper for employers than retaining staff. In the end, I think my Dad's success more reflected the choice he made: to do what he could with what he had.
He talks about faith, comparing how he feels between contracts to a chartoon character. In the cartoon a character walks along a falling, horizontal steel beam. The moment its foot looks like it's going to step out into thin air, another beam rises for him to cross. The character walks the length of that one, and again steps into thin air. And then another beam rises to catch him.
So in this difficult waiting time of questions, I think about choices. Intentionally waiting to respond in a proactive way feels empowering. Spending my time doing the best work I can is how I show my value as an employee. Deciding to live a healthful, balanced life shows I myself hold well-being in my own two hands. Taming the worry-shrew helps me vanquish the poisonous stress of worrying: Will I have a job next year?
In the school setting, FTE allotment feels like an earthquake to me. The shifts feel continental. And completely out of our control. And after the continental shift comes the aftershocks. I got my first licensed position in an aftershock. See, even when FTE is settled, staff can change their minds, choose something else, decide to move on. That's an aftershock. When it opens up a position, new opportunities open. So I'll take shelter in my classroom, at my desk, in meetings, doing the best I can with what I have, and taking the news as it comes.
